Recognize Empathic Distress

We can sustain our work when we combine our capacity for empathy and compassion with a dedication to personal insight and our ability (individually and collectively) to be present so as to not cause harm but to reduce it.

When we’re at the edge, in danger of falling over the precipice into suffering, compassion is the most powerful means I know for keeping our feet firmly planted on the earth and our heart wide open.1 Joan Halifax

Joan Halifax (she/her) defines compassion as our capacity to see suffering with empathy along with our intent to engage in transforming suffering.2

Joan Halifax shares what we are seeing actually is not what we think of as compassion fatigue, but is really empathic distress—when we may feel someone else's pain but feel we are unable to do anything about it.3

The following figure demonstrates how our empathy for another’s suffering can at times outweigh our resources to respond. We may experience distress and it can be more difficult to respond to another’s suffering. We might become overwhelmed and withdraw. There is also a risk of armoring our heart (being less emotionally vulnerable) in this work.

At other times, our empathy can lead to compassionate action with an outward focus and intentions to help.4

It is important to note, situations are never so cut and dry. We can go between feeling distress and feeling more resourced to take action. Paying attention to our feelings of distress can help us recognize when we might need more support. 5

We may not have been directly exposed to the trauma, but we hear the story told with such intensity, or we hear similar stories so often, or we have the gift and curse of extreme empathy and we suffer. We feel the feelings of our clients. We experience their fears. We dream their dreams. Eventually, we lose a certain spark of optimism, humor and hope. We tire. We aren’t sick, but we aren’t ourselves.6 Charles Figley

In this module, we will explore ways to recognize and respond to the emotional distress (individually and collectively) we may feel from exposure to suffering and be more supported to move into compassionate action.

Compassionate action is supported by our ability to be emotionally attuned and maintain our physical, emotional, and mental well-being.7 When we are more stabilized, we can feel empathy and face the world with more resilience.

The following three steps can be helpful when experiencing a sense of distress.8

  1. Self-reflection - Being aware and acknowledging what we are feeling.

  2. Being in relationship - Turning to each other for support.

  3. Action - Engaging in compassionate action.

Self-compassion is the first place to start. Click here for an infographic on the benefits of self-compassion.

Joan Halifax developed the GRACE model© in response to the need to help prevent burnout and secondary trauma. This practice offers a way to open to another person's experience, to stay centered in the presence of suffering, and to develop the capacity to respond with compassion.

Often just gathering our attention (step 1) takes a lot of practice because we are easily distracted and stressed. This step is a reminder to pause and give ourselves time to get grounded. It is important to find a way that works for you. One way to do that is to try out a strategy. Click here to access strategies from Joan Halifax on how to gather our attention. Different strategies will work for different people.

Compassion resilience

The good news is compassionate action can enhance our resilience and well-being instead of deplete us.9 Compassion and resilience are interlinked. As we experience compassion, we build more resilience, as we build more resilience, we are better able to cultivate compassion. Here is an equation we can use to remind us: higher levels of compassion = higher levels of resilience.

In fact, there are also positive health benefits for ourselves when we cultivate compassion. Studies suggest compassion plays a significant role in reducing physiological stress and promoting physical and emotional well-being. Compassion is associated with higher life satisfaction, lower inflammation levels, better immune response, improved longevity and changing neurochemistry and stress response from fear and overwhelm to the biology of hope and courage. Cultivating compassion is a key to resilience and well-being.

We know from neuroscience that compassion has some very extraordinary qualities. A person who is cultivating compassion, when they are in the presence of suffering, they may feel that suffering more than other people do. However, they also return to baseline a lot sooner. This is called resilience. Many of us think that compassion drains us, but I promise you it truly enlivens us. 10 Roshi Joan Halifax

Click here for a handout on the positive health benefits of compassion. 

Tools

The Professional Quality of Life (PROQOL) Scale helps to get a sense or our experiences in relation to our role of helping others. You can retake the assessment to measure changes over time as you integrate practices for taking care of ourselves and each other.

Download this handout to access tools and daily practices.

Download this handout to access the Trauma Stewardship Tiny Survival Guide. 

 

Sources:

  1. Joan Halifax (2017) Compassion at the Edge. https://www.upaya.org/2017/05/compassion-at-the-edge-by-roshi-joan-halifax/

  2. Joan Halifax (2017) On Being Podcast: Finding buoyancy amidst despair https://onbeing.org/programs/joan-halifax-finding-buoyancy-amidst-despair/

  3. Joan Halifax (2018) Standing at the Edge: Finding freedom where fear and courage meet. Flatiron Books

  4. Singer & Klimecki (2014) Empathy and Compassion. Current Biology, Volume 24, Issue 18, pp. R875-R878. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2014.06.054

  5. Goetz et al. (2010) Compassion: An evolutionary analysis and empirical review.

    Psychol Bull. 2010 May ; 136(3): 351–374. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2864937/pdf/nihms185240.pdf

  6. Figley, C. R. (Ed.). (1995). Compassion fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized. Brunner/Mazel.

  7. Wise Wisconsin - https://wisewisconsin.org/tag/compassion-resilience/

  8. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky (2009) Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others (p. 238). Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Kindle Edition.

  9. Joan Halifax (2017) On Being Podcast

  10. Joan Halifax. (2010). Compassion and the True Meaning of Empathy [Video]. TED Conferences. https://www.ted.com/talks/joan_halifax_compassion_and_the_true_meaning_of_empathy